Helping a friend or relative

 Our two-pronged approach will provide support to your friend or relative at a pace to suit them.

We can:

• Help them to identify strengths to keep them and their children safe
• Support them and their children to heal from trauma
• Bring their family together safely to make a Family Plan for them and their children.  If they wish, their Family Meeting can include other family members, such as grandparents, friends or anyone who can support them.
• If appropriate and safe, work with the person who has caused harm to identify and challenge negative behaviour to improve safety and family functioning
• Arrange to see or speak with them when, where and how it is best, and safest for them. 
• Be able to help with practical advice and support on issues, such as accommodation, legal matters and accessing benefits or financial support.

Your friend or relative might not feel ready or able to talk about what's happening.  

• Tell them you have noticed something isn't right and you are concerned about them
• Be patient, try to find quiet, safe times and let them know they can talk to you if they need to
• Listen - don't blame or judge
• Reassure them that what is happening is not their fault
• Offer to help them, or make a referral on their behalf
• Acknowledge their strength - it takes courage to talk about what is happening to them
• Praise them for any actions they have taken to stay safe
• Encourage them to express their feelings
• Acknowledge their right to make their own decisions
• Don't tell them to leave the relationship - accept that is their decision
• Encourage them to seek help, or medical advice if appropriate - and offer to support them to do so
• If you believe them to be at imminent risk of harm dial 999